The Journey

I spent years looking for answers in the wrong places.

Not carelessly — seriously. I read hundreds of books. Philosophy, psychology, spirituality, new age frameworks, Eastern thought. I experimented with psychedelics searching for something I couldn't name. I felt a pull toward something larger than myself for as long as I can remember. I was even drawn to Christ — wearing a cross before I ever opened a Bible — but I wouldn't have called myself a Christian. I'd spent too many years dismissing the Bible as the domain of old men and institutional corruption. I was certain I'd outgrown it.

I was completely wrong.

When I finally read the Bible — start to finish, for the first time — something broke open. Not a feeling. A recognition. The word was alive in a way I hadn't expected and couldn't explain away. The theological framework Christ rose out of — the covenant, the divine council, the cosmic conflict that runs from Genesis through Revelation — wasn't primitive mythology. It was the most coherent account of reality I had ever encountered. I had been grafted in. A Gentile, brought into something ancient and larger than myself, that had been true long before I arrived at it.

That's when everything changed. How I think. How I see the world. How I approach everything.

I'm sober for the first time in my adult life — no cannabis, no alcohol, nothing. My life is still on a path of change. I'm not writing from the other side of a completed journey. I'm writing from inside one.

By profession, I'm an AI evaluator — doing rubric-based model evaluation, quality review, and RLHF contribution inside the industry. I work at the layer between the engineers building AI capability, the companies deploying it, and the humans whose lives it touches. From that vantage point something becomes clear very quickly: the people building and deploying these systems are technically extraordinary and philosophically unequipped for the questions their own work is raising.

What is a human being? What gives human life its worth? What happens when the tools we build begin to answer those questions for us — quietly, systematically, at scale?

The secular world does not have answers to those questions. The answers were carried first by Israel — in the covenant, the law, the prophets, the Psalms — and fulfilled in Christ, a Jewish rabbi whose life, death, and resurrection cannot be understood apart from the Hebrew tradition that produced him. That thread runs unbroken from Genesis through Revelation. We've simply stopped tracing it — and in losing the roots, we've weakened the fruit. We've stopped speaking these answers into the rooms where the decisions are being made.

That's the gap I'm trying to occupy. Not as an expert. Not as an academic. As a practitioner who reads his Bible, does the work, and refuses to check his faith at the door of an industry that needs it more than it knows.

I live in the Raleigh-Durham area with my wife and daughter. I host the Order Within podcast — 140+ episodes on faith, meaning, and the kind of life worth building.

This site is where I write. The newsletter is how I send it. If something here resonates, I'd be glad to hear from you.